Kim Kardashian. This girl hasn't exactly been dealt Aces in the great card game of Life. Father had passed away, her mother got married to a man with step-children, became a big time celebrity because a video of her fornicating got leaked, now permanently resting at B-level celebrity status. More recently, however, the gal got married to a total asshole, and got divorced 72 days later.
Whenever people harp on this girl for a lot of her flaws, I really can't say much. The sex tape? Yeah, 100% her fault, though she made the best out of a bad situation. Her reality shows? Yugh. But I don't have to watch them.
But when people are like, "There are things that have been in my fridge longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage lasted.", I get really pissed off. SHE MADE A GODDAMN MISTAKE. This is probably one of the worst things that has happened to her. How would you like it if on the day your father died someone you hardly knew came up to you and said, "At least now the rest of us get to eat at Thanksgiving, AMIRITE?". Now image that from millions of people you don't know.
Cut the jokes, cut her some slack. For this at least.
Now I'm not going to say that it was this incident that engendered my thoughts on marriage, but it's convenient that I get a good opener like that.
I'm not sure how to feel about marriage.
Now, chances are, you know someone who has, at one point, been married. Whether it be a parent, guardian, brother, sister, cousin, grandparent, friend, or teacher, you have known someone of that persuasion. If you ask ninety-eight percent of married couples why they got married, they will say it was because they loved one another. Unless you are my dad, in which case you would say, "We have a lot in common. For example, we both believe our Soulmates are out there somewhere."
Why does love automatically lead to marriage? As sitcoms have made me VERY aware, once you have dated someone for over a year or so, people ask you, "So when are you going to tie the knot?" Why is automatically assumed that people want to get married?
I've heard marriage defined as a permission slip from the Church to have sex. A little crass, but that's certainly how it began. If you weren't married, you could not copulate. (I wonder how many different words I can use to describe intercourse in this post?) That wasn't WHY people got married of course: they got married to be able to have kids and be supported.
Nowadays, marriage seems to be more of a tradition than anything real, other than tax changes. Brad Pitt (Very respectable actor) and Angelina Jolie (Very wide-mouthed actress) haven't been married, but their day to day interactions wouldn't be much different from your average married couple. Besides all of the African child rescuing, and all that money, and stuff.
That being said, would I be opposed to getting married if my lady-friend insisted on it? No, I would not. (I would, however, be opposed to changing my religion. If being Jewish [culturally] doesn't jive with you, I'm sorry, we are done here.)
I think marriage doesn't do much good. For some reason, people stop being all lovey-dovey once they get married, probably because things become routine. I don't want that to happen to me. I want to be happy with my partner, maybe not every second of every day, but just... happy. Not bored.
Also, marriage shackles people in. I'm not Barney Stinson (though I wish I had his face. I don't like my face as much as I like his) so don't get me wrong, but it just adds this layer of 'YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE, PUNK' that just would feel wrong. That's what its there for, I guess, to make sure that small squabbles don't permanently mess up a relationship, but it also makes people feel restrained.
People grow apart, and some people get divorced. It sucks, but it happens. The divorce process can be so long and drawn out and contemptuous that the two individuals, who used to be so in love, can barely tolerate the other! When I split up with a girl, I don't want it to be like that.
It's also not monogamy that makes marriage weird for me. When you enter a relationship, it should be monogamous, at least in my eyes. Extra-relationship affairs aren't something that I'd consider, not that people tend to consider these things much before doing them.
Now, I'm not married. Actually, technically I am. In fourth grade, I married my best male friend Jonah, and last year I was forced into a polygamous marriage with a Becky and an Emma.
Point is, I've never actually experienced any of these things that I'm preaching. But that's true for a lot of what I talk about. So am I wrong?
Probably. But that's how I feel now. What was that quote I heard once? "It is better to speak your mind and change it tomorrow than to have a consistent outlook but keep it silent"? No, but something of that persuasion.
Unfortunately, people seem to equate long-term relationships with marriage. It looks like I may be forced to go through with the "I do". But the above is how I feel about it. Unless of course my future wife is reading, in which case,
JOKE POST! Lololololol, the entire thing was a joke!
Whatever.
Thanks for reading and considering,
-J. Valett.
Post Script
I've got a little surprise cooking, that I'd like to reveal to the public March 15th. So be there!
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